Tuesday, November 13, 2012


So... guess who applied to school and qualified for financial aid? This hot potato right here. :) Just a small post, but it is such a bright spot right now.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Not breathing.

I haven't written in a while because I forgot how to breathe, how to handle things.

I decided I would go with a private agency, and then out of the blue one day, before I put in my application, got word from this lovely guy, that he was closing our application because of my foster care history.

Apparently you can't foster if you were in foster care.

This was a while back, and for some reason after that I shut down. I could have fought him, called his supervisor... anything. And I shut down. I don't really know why I did this, other than how upset I was with this and that any future agencies would see I had a closed application through CPS.

I had started building this community of foster and adoptive families, and didn't want to admit that for whatever reason I had shut down, because I have seen people push through so much more than this.

I really don't know where I'm going from here. I still believe in foster care, and that that is where my heart lies. It's just figuring out if now is still the best time.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Peanut Butter Cup Brownies

I found this blog post by the amazing Crafty Dr. Mom. Awesome and super crafty mom! (Did you see where I said before it was Play Dr. Mom? My brain went all wonky. I guess I shouldn't read two great blogs at once!)

Mine are a little different. I made two batches. The first is pretty much just like her's, but I made them in a cupcake pan. For the second batch, I put a little brownie batter down, then put a peanut butter cup in, then more brownie, then peanut butter cup pieces on top.

The picture is not perfect, since I took it on my phone, but really the quality of the picture is not the important thing here. Look at those.

I don't really have an exact recipe (I used brownie batter from a box. Overachievers/better cooks than me are welcome to use homemade brownies).

Right before they were done, I put some peanut butter cup chunks on top and let them finish and melt a little.

So good, super easy.

Sorry if you're on a diet! I obviously failed mine. If someone knows of a good chocolate based diet, I'm all for it.

Saturday, September 15, 2012


Here is my fosterland update: Nothing. But it was because of me.

I made a transfer at work, that went fairly smooth. Maybe not perfect (mostly adjusting from working graveyards to working early mornings!), but well. I make more money now, and thought I would make less. DH is reffing football games for the football season. Our roommate has moved out and soon we will start getting the kid room and playroom ready.

But I haven't submitted my application yet. I don't know why. I don't know what held me back. Foster care is in my heart, and feels right. Is it fear? We are young. I don't have a problem with that, and I have mostly come to terms with what other people think, but maybe that's it. Maybe I worry because I work in an industry where my money is cyclical. I can make it work, though. Is it fair to bring a child into our home where they will mostly be spoiled with love, but some of their toys may be hand-me-downs? This isn't about money, right? So what? Why haven't I kept going?

I don't know, but it's over now. Whatever it was. So I e-mailed the worker for our agency today (which she probably won't see until Monday) and told her we were ready to submit our application. I apologized, and said that I hope we had not missed our opportunity to work with them. I guess it was just a phase.

All these worries that I have posted about a million times still float in my head, but that has to be normal. This is a crazy journey, surely worries floated through all of your heads? I hope I'm not the odd one out.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Instead of Coffee Today...

Instead of coffee today, or a soda, or a pack of cigarettes, whatever you would normally buy, I think that you should spend two dollars. Where?
At Mama Foster's Blog!

See, there is this beautiful family (their story is here), who needs a new minivan. I know we all have things we would like, or feel we need, but if you read their story, you will understand that whatever you thought you needed wasn't as important.

The little girl in the middle is Jovia. She has a wheelchair that needs to be loaded in and out of their van, and the boy on the right is Benja, who has a walker that also must be loaded. Their current van just doesn't have the space for all of that, plus three children and their parents. On top of the space issue, it is not really meant for a wheelchair and so there is hassle and risk of dropping it.

Their friend has a goal to raise 15k by October 15th to help them buy a new van! There are so many ways you can donate or help!

First, at Mama Foster's blog she is giving away a BEAUTIFUL necklace. There is a donate button there, and for each two dollars you donate, you get one entry.

On Ashlee's website (the second link) you can also donate, or buy something from her awesome jewelry shop. Ten percent of all her sales are going to a van for them. (She is the one trying to raise the money for them.)

You can also help by posting this, or Mama Foster's giveaway, or Ashlee's link everywhere! Facebook, reblog, whatever! The internet is such a great community, I know we can make this happen.

Friday, August 31, 2012


I've been smoking cigarettes since I was 17. I've been working on quitting, and cut way back. The largest hurdle has been work. Today was the first time I went a whole work day with no cigarette. When I got home, I went to the website for the cigarette brand I smoke because they are giving away cool gift cards. I played the instant win game, and won a $25 mastercard gift card.

It's like they paid me to quit using their product.
Sometimes when I look at our lives, I see exactly where a child will fit in. Or two.